IF ONLY... I had the motivation

Right now, I am seriously lacking motivation. I have about ten pounds of homework awaiting me quietly in the next room. The problem: this is what I foresee happening- I sit  on the computer messing around, I watch my favorite shows when they come on, I eat dinner, I watch some more TV, I go to bed. I then wake up in the morning, rush to get ready for school and try to finish my homework in homeroom. That ends now. I need to suck it up, do my homework when I first get home from school, and maybe enjoy talking to my friends in homeroom. I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately, and I'm sure if I get my homework out of the way, I will feel much more organized, less stressed and panicked. So, for my own sanity and well-being,

5. I will do ALL my homework within an hour of arriving home from school. 

IF ONLY... My family was perfect.

I'm still working on Resolution Number 3 while continually keeping in mind Resolutions 1 and 2. Now, I have a much more personal and important (to me, at least) resolution to make. There is a certain thing missing in my life- or to be a little more specific, a certain three people. Now, I am not the kind of person who is open about sharing personal stuff with people I don't know, and this blog is very new- and currently I don't think anyone has ever even read it. So, this may be pretty vague. But basically, there are three very close family members I do not get to see as often as I would like. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I only saw them twice last year. I can say without a doubt, this is the most pressing issue in my mind. I pray every night for the situation to change for the better, and I have been doing what I can to make sure it does, but I have been very busy lately, and have lost sight of my motivation to keep haggling this family member trying to set up a date to see the three of them. But, seeing as this is a vitally important issue in my life, for Resolution Number 4,

4. I will set up a date to get together with The Missing Three within the next month.

My family is far from perfect, it's a little dysfunctional- as most families are. I have a large family, full of 'step' and 'half' siblings, but we are family, and that's the most important thing. I am not about to sit by and wait for things to change, as the saying goes, if I want something done right, I will just have to do it myself. I may not be an adult in the family, but I have the best intentions, and I will do whatever is in my power to unite my family once again. I know that things will never be as they were when we were young and carefree kids, but we can be a happy family again, I am sure of that.

IF ONLY... people didn't move my things, I could find them.

Let me just say it: I HAVE A TERRIBLE MEMORY AND I TEND TO LOSE THINGS... ALOT. That is probably my worst habit. Bad memory runs in my family, as my mother has lost her keys/phone/debit card/glasses countless times, and the rest of my family is almost as bad. But, out of all my siblings, I am most promising for following in my mom's footsteps... of losing everything. I am already doing great at living up to my role. I have lost my retainers almost 5 times... and am currently searching (and giving up hope of finding) my $75 retainer... I always lose important things like homework assignments, keys, and money. This only leads to being late because I can't find what I'm looking for, paying money to replace what I have lost, and practically losing my mind worrying about the lost item. Sadly, I also tend to blame other people when I lose things. I am done with the excuses and anxiety! I have a plan, and it is my third resolution to put this plan in action:

3. I will organize my life- starting with my room, purse, and backpack.

I am vowing to make this an enjoyable experience. Plus, once I am done, I will not regret it. I plan on never losing anything of considerable value again! We'll see how that goes.

IF ONLY... I was rich I could be fashionable.

I've used this excuse way too many times. I read Teen Vogue or Harper's Bazaar and see the glamorous jewelry for $100 or the to-die-for dress that would completely make my wardrobe for $600. Then I look at my meager babysitter's pay budget, and I can't afford to spend 60 bucks on a top at Nordstrom or even a $30 top from Macys.

But, not being able to afford name brand clothing does not at all limit your closet. Especially now that vintage and worn-looks are very fashionable. I can find a baggy grandpa sweater from the Goodwill that I swear I've seen in Vogue. Actually, you learn a lot from being on a budget. You learn to buy what you need- or sometimes splurge on something you want. But, you learn to be grateful for what you have. Plus, finding sales can be invigorating. It's really exciting when you find a $45 dress on sale for $10. You have to have a keen eye, patience, and know when and where to shop. When I go to the mall, I usually gaze at the pretty sweaters in the windows for $30, but I pass them up for the rack usually at the very back of the store labeled "SALE". You have to sift through the clothes that make you say I can see why this is on the sale rack. But you can almost always find a good piece of clothing on sale for half the price you would normally pay. And let me tell you, it feels good to know you've saved your money AND you have a brand new outfit you worked hard to find. My own personal money-saving excursion to the mall this weekend was very successful. I found huge sales including a Macys sweater for $10, two cardigans (and let me tell you, cardigans are my weakness... I can never have enough cute cardigans) for a whopping $15 a piece, and the find of the day, an adorable floral dress I can't wait to wear for fifteen dollars! This totally proves my excuse false so for resolution number two:

2. Never again blame my bank account for not being able to dress as I would like.

Some Fabulous Finds this week that prove you can be in-style on a budget:

Live with no regrets

I came to a realization today, and that is why I started this blog. I am not usually the type of person to tell my ideas to the world, and I'm really not sure the world even cares. But, here I am. Here is my blog. We'll see what happens.

This is sort of my New Years resolution. I need some sort of outlet for my ideas, as well as an actual record of my resolutions. I need somewhere to make my plans concrete, so I will actually fulfill them. This brings me to the big realization. And here it is:

I am too afraid to live my life fully.

I mean, I am happy with who I am, and I do have my interests and aspirations. I work hard and have amazing family and friends. But as I look back, I see the opportunities that have passed me by, and I am going to start living my life by seizing every opportunity I can. I want to be spontaneous. I want to be exciting. I want to be happier. And, I realize that there is still plenty of time for me to try new things. I am a bit apprehensive about what I am getting myself in to. But I promise to do this for myself. I will make resolutions. I will fulfill resolutions. I will document my progress (and probably some fears, setbacks, inspirations, and maybe a few meltdowns) on my very own brand new blog.

So, for my very first resolution:

1. I resolve to live my life with no regrets.